Thursday, November 11, 2010

Squeaky effing pants and other matters that concern or bother me.

I freaking hate squeaky pants. You know what I'm talking about. You're wearing jeans. You've got them crossed or held together or what have you and you move them. A tiny bit. Or you're getting up to go awkwardly walk to the water fountain during a test when you think you're breathing too loudly and freakin SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK as you get up. It drives me crazy.

And freakin Global Warming. Bothers the crap out of me. It's finafreakingly winter even though it should have been a month ago and now it goes from sunny to snowy to sunny to snowy and I'm like MAKE UP YOUR EFFING MIND ALREADY. But I'm crazy or something, so yeah.

Old people. Did I just say that? Yes. I think old people are people who are stubborn, like my grandfather, are the ones that bother me. The rest are great. Maybe he's only 700 years old, but he still hates everyone. Hilarious? Yes. Annoying? Yes. Egh.

REALLY?!?! They think that the rise in ADHD is because of better diagnosing?!?! NO. STOP THAT. THAT IS NOT OKAY. It's not because of better diagnosing. It's because everyone is sick these days and anger anger words frustration. It's because we cram so freaking many things into kids' heads during the day, with TV and computer (yeah, shut it, I know I love the Internet) and the news and stupid videos and crap. Jebus. We're driving ourselves crazy! In 15 years, mental disease is estimated to outrank heart disease in the US. PISSES ME OFF. But a lot does right now because, you know what? If the world ends in 2012 then I just spent like my entire freakin life on school. Awesome. I'm not saying I don't appreciate it, I do, but I'd also like to be able to practice what I like, such as philosophy and art and writing and photography but noooooo I have to spend my evenings working on math and science and whining and trying to trip myself so I don't have to do homework.

Rant in the face.

And I want to get rid of cable but no. All companies are Nazis and in the end all they wanna do is screw you over. But hey they'll give you a free toaster. I love toast. *unimpressed*

And my computer is still broken. Has it been twenty years? I think so.


Hah, yes, that just happened.

More things that bug the eff out of me:

Neighbors and their dog fascinations. Yeah, I get it, you want to steal my dog, whatever, but it's six AM, I hate the world right now, and I just want to go inside. Do you not realize I'm wearing just this jacket and jeans and I can't feel parts of my face? NO. Because you're wearing 90 jackets, a headband thing made of fleece, and snow pants or something poofy and unfortunate like that. SO please, let's not make this any more awkward than it has to be and just LET ME THE EFF GO. I want to be in my own house. Sorry, neighbor, you're great but I have crap to do that I hate more than Miley Cyrus, and those things may or may not involve catching the bus. Sorray.

And when the weather lies. LIES. YOU DIRTY DIRTY LIARS. I'd say you should be on Pretty Little Liars, but I don't know what that show is about and frankly I don't think you deserve to be in TV. So SHUT YOUR FACE AND NEXT TIME MENTION THAT YOU'RE ALL LIARS.

The news. Why do you have to tell me about abused children and dying families and fires every time I turn you on? Why? I know there's happy crap going on in Denver or else those slutty girls hookers in training, wait that's offensive too. Nevermind. But seriously news, you used to be cool. Hire Ron Burgundy and we'll talk.

Stay classy, San Diego.

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