Sunday, August 15, 2010


Hmmm... Lemme see... *rifles through briefcase* Aha! *unpacks adjectives* Okay, so I'm going to create a list of adjectives that will, I dunno, win you a million dollars. That is such a lie. They will also get you the person of your dreams and that promotion from Jenkins you've been asking for since last October. Another lie. Don't believe any of this. You'll also get free movie tickets every time you say them. And there she goes again, what a jerk face. These won't be in alphabetical order because that's not how my brain works. In fact, I usually remember things when it's way too late, like eighty dollars on a shelf or my shampoo and conditioner. Yes, I forgot 80 freaking dollars and hair supplies in Montana, okay? You happy now? 

  1. Top notch. Good.
  2. Marvelous. Good.
  3. Horrifying. Bad.
  4. Magnificent. Good.
  5. Acidic. Bad.
  6. Amazing. Good.
  7. Lickety split. Fast. This is an adverb, I guess, but I'm going to leave it because everyone should say it these days.
  8. Gruesome. Bad.
  9. Turrible. Bad. Also a variation of terrible, pronounced turr-uh-bull. Yep, lots of u's. 
  10. Shnikey. This is actually a noun.
  11. Hairy. Bad.
  12. Delightful. Good.
  13. Smelly. Bad. Reallyreally bad.
  14. Ginormous. Big.
  15. Gargantuan. Big.
  16. Eentsy beentsy. Small.
  17. Marvelous. Good.
  18. Fantabulous. Good. 
That's all I've got for now. My funniness has gone out for vacation recently because I'm tired and cranky when I try to post something of late. Mostly because my freaking internet is riding the short bus. I am just way too offensive sometimes. Whatever. And the only coffee I can seem to hold down is coffee purchased from a restaurant or Starbucks or other coffee place. 

So now our ladder is in the middle of the living room because that's the only place I have been able to get signal from someone else's internet, and I was getting sick of standing and holding a computer in the air, eyes wide and breath ragged, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I digress. 

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